You have the right to offend

Since when have we all become so soft?  And why is it that we all suddenly have the right to be offended over something? I think it's time that society and more particularly generation X and Y harden up! We live in an age of wonders, with ceaseless access to information, services and goods. You would think with all of that we might be a little less uptight.  Yet despite being better off across the board many of us act as if we are more oppressed than ever.  I've had my fair share of abuse, homophobia and moments where I've really feared being myself but I have always avoided the victim mentality.  Why?  Because standing back and whining the phrase "I'm offended" does absolutely nothing.

One thing in the world that has not changed is that it is rough, it's unequal and it's filled with bullies, and that is not going away anytime soon.  It's time we all grow thicker skins.  It's time people stand up for what they believe in, it is our right.  Offend others, it is also our right.  But we cannot not think that we have the right to silence others because it's offensive.  When John Stuart Mill wrote about the Harm Principle, he did not have in mind the feelings of others.  When the American founding fathers added the amendments that became known as the bill of rights, they did not footnote "Unless free speech offends you."  Frankly we do have the right to be bigots*.  If anything the world is becoming more bigoted every day.  It seems as we become tolerate towards sex, race and sexuality we become further intolerant towards ideology, beliefs and any level of opposition we may face.  In the end your opinion is your opinion and if you wish to hold one then you must let others have opinions that you see as offensive, regardless of how much it hurts for delicate little feelings.  

*Bigotry: intolerance towards those who hold different opinions from oneself.

We create a real problem when we stop empowering victims and instead start creating them.  Civilization has had to fight many battles and I assure you that none were won upon a victim mentality.  Jesus did not hang from the cross while beckoning "That's not fair" and Nazi Germany didn't fall to it's knees when Europe said "that's offensive".  Simply, life is about fighting, and silencing others does not mean you win, it means you're just oppressing the opposition. It means you're the problem and not the solution. 

So now imagine an offence free world.  Imagine comedy?  As a gay I know offence and the use of shade is our main source of communication and frankly, it keeps me mentally active. Imagine a government that has to tip toe around words, policy and promises to avoid offence.  Imagine a media that can't offend others. Nothing would get done! Yet if a majority of Tumblr users ruled the world that is what we would have to endure.  Now things do get said that hurt, of course! That does not mean we should be romanticizing the victim lifestyle.  It's time we all toughen up.  We have real issues in the world, so forgive me but I could not care less if I offend you.  I want to offend you.  I want you to challenge my views, fight me and convince me to side with you.  And if you fail, be able to let go and move on.  You have the right to be offended, but I have the right to offend you and I promise that I will.

Arrogance

Arrogance is a word that is often thrown around and when ever I hear people use it I am left asking myself if they really have any idea what it means?  It constantly pops up in those lists of 'bad qualities' in a person and more often than not it seems to be the worst quality a person can have, according to those who make these lists.  I am openly an arrogant person and to call it a rare quality in someone today is far from ignorance, it is simply stupidity.  Arrogance is rampant in today's society, it is evident in intellectual culture, gym culture and can even be found in drinking culture.  Yet for something so common it appears to be so incredibly misunderstood.  So what is arrogance?  A quick google search will define it as "having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities."   So why does the word or quality have such a negative connotation associated with it?  Perhaps it is because nobody likes someone who 'shows off' their talents, and perhaps that is because nobody likes to be reminded that their not as good as someone else.  Yet it seems to me this hatred towards 'arrogant' people is nothing short of typical Australian tall poppy syndrome. 

Arrogance can be a very attractive quality.  In fact many romance novels such as Pride and Prejudice, make their main character an arrogant one.  Yes, even Mr Darcy was arrogant and although that quality got on Elizabeth's nerves, his arrogance proved to be a challenge.  There is something attractive about someone who is sure of themselves.  Now of course this quality is not for everyone.  Yet I find for those who are intellectual and those who like to converse and banter, for them arrogance can be an incredibly appealing quality.  Someone who is opinionated is fun and interesting which by far outweighs someone who is a 'fence sitter' or opinion-less.  Just the same as someone who is egotistic is by far better than someone with extreme self esteem issues.  Confidence can come with arrogance, intelligence often comes hand in hand with arrogance and no longer should we be shaming those who are sure of themselves as it is simply a waste of time. An arrogant person cannot be shamed, they'll wear that quality with pride and continue to push their point.

So why do people put this as the top of their list in terms of bad qualities?  Well nobody likes someone who is always right.  Nor do they like people so conceited that they'll never be able to deflate that giant head of theirs.  Nobody wants to be friends with a real life Sheldon Cooper (although even he has close friends and a girlfriend while most of us are still single).  Arrogance can cross a line.  That is when it becomes nothing more than an ignorant and opinionated person throwing their beliefs and values around.  Arrogance without intelligence is simply just ignorance.  Ignorance is not an attractive quality in any shape or form. Yet there are many more qualities rarely touched upon that are magnitudes more unattractive than arrogance. 

Why do we never say cheating is an unattractive quality?  How about lying?  Maybe laziness?  Abusiveness? There are lists of qualities in lovers and friends that will leave you numb and in tatters.  Yet we never address them?  Do we prefer to be hurt, used and abused than to be around someone who is sure of themselves or 'arrogant'?  Would we rather be lied to than proven wrong?  And shall we continue trying to cut those tall, arrogant poppies in order to feel better about ourselves?  I think not!  It is time we educate ourselves, learn about the english language for starters and maybe find real negative qualities in people rather than throwing around the word arrogance mindlessly.  

I end every blog with the phrase "be proud" because pride is not a bad thing, neither is arrogance.  Be proud of what you are, who you are and what you know.  Do not let someone pull you down to their level because they think your pride or arrogance makes you a bad person.  Until you because someone nasty and someone who launches personal attacks you and your qualities on show are not bad.  Be sure of yourself, prove your points and defend your opinions  Never shy of conflict in order to stand your ground and make sure you pick your battles.  If you are right then make it known, prove it true.  You will never be liked by everyone, yet that should never be your aim in life.  Be someone who is known to be ruthless yet sweet, headstrong yet kind and someone who is loving unconditionally.  You can be arrogant as long as nobody is hurt on a real personal level.  So please, go forth and be proud!