Breakups are hard enough as it is but eventually it gets to a point where you just need to move on. It's times like these where my old Scout leader Diamond comes to mind. OK, so doing scouts is fairly lame, I know but it taught me a lot. "Harden the fuck up, Jack". It is as simple as that. Now that I look back on it she has a bloody good point. Shit happens, things fail and there comes a time when you need rebuild and move on.
I have been in multiple relationships, this is no surprise to anyone. Yet my last was the most toxic of them all. It was borderline abusive, both emotionally and physically, and I was far too foolish to realise until after it all ended. I put myself in harms way for a man and the result, unsurprisingly, was that I got harmed. I am yet to shed a tear over this all, I am not sure I ever will. I placed this person on a pedestal and although I was not perfect I loved and cherished everything about him, I most likely always will. Now it is over and I find myself unable to let go. I am holding onto something that doesn't exist, I am clinging to the false hope that this perfect man will finally come back to me.
So why must we move on? Simply because it is unhealthy not to. The emotional trauma that comes from wanting for something you can no longer have will kill you. The jealousy will turn you bitter and you will see them become happy and fall in love with another while you fail to move forward. I need to move forward. My life cannot stagnate or else it will fall apart. I have freshly come out of a love affair, I am licking my wounds but I also stand tall. I left a relationship that would have destroyed me.
It is easy to say to someone "just move on" but it is harder to actually do it. I always get the same advice and it is to delete them from your life. To block, hide and remove their existence. The reality of the situation is that this may just be needed. Not all relationships end on good terms, and even if they do sometimes you're left deeply hurt, seeing their posts, pictures and stories might not help with the 'healing' process. I had to make that decision, it killed me on the inside as I am actively removing someone who made me so incredibly happy. I fail to remember how much pain they put me through.
Moving on is a process, it is about actively getting yourself back to 'normal'. You need to rebound, start dating again, learn to be alone and most importantly learn to love yourself. I had invested myself in a relationship that was one sided, I recognised this and ended it but I struggled hard to move on. It was not until I found out he get a new boyfriend that I knew it was time. I am proud of my struggles, that is why I share them here and I am ready to progress forward in my life.
Remember, life goes on and it is wonderful! Love is real, I assure you. People are fantastic. We are all one hundred times better than our exes or shitty friends. We can all be proud of the fact that we are moving on.
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