I have recently discovered I have changed my 'type' in men. No longer do I go for the muscled up jock, the douche bag and the shallow prick. I go for more caring, artistic guys. Dancers, Actors and Musicians have dominated my dating life and with no regret. I have a secret passion for the performing arts, I love to go to the theater and I want to see the ballet when it comes to town. Why I spent so long dating losers who's only sense of culture comes from their love of burritos and their only artistic talent comes in the form of Gym selfies is beyond me. I know I am worth more and that is why I have started dating better. I am dating people who appreciate me, who actually are kind and who don't diminish my self worth. This is why I say moving on is beautiful and this is why it is also so wonderful! It has allowed me for the first time to meet people who I actually like and who actually like me too!
The first man I met will forever leave me speechless. He will forever haunt my memory as the one who got away and I will live my life regretting that I never fought for him. It is rare you meet someone who is you ideal man. Someone who is young but mature. A gay male who was looking forward to settling down, having kids and living the suburban life style. It sounds silly and it is almost as if it is out of some silly American Sit-com but alas he is real. He loved romantic comedies, theatre and politics. He is perfect. Unfortunately due to the events of life I could not keep this person and I had to reluctantly move on. He'll always be special, an idea of perfection I will always hold onto and I hope we can remain friends, and if he was to ever ask me out again, I assure you the answer right now will be "Definitely, maybe.". Yet for now life goes on and there are many potential suitors out there. I can only wish that he finds the perfect man for him and most importantly is happy until his final moments, he is truly deserving.
"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better." - Waiting For Godot by Samuel Beckett.
Of course since I have moved on to other guys and I hope to have more dates lined up with the same or different people. I am not at a point to make rash decisions nor should I be holding out from potentially finding love. Currently I have met another guy who I enjoy greatly. Everything is sweet and passionate. There is a sense of innocence but it is strangely mixed with with immaturity and giggles. He has dreams and aspirations that will most likely get in the way. He is destined to travel the world and be famous. There is nothing I want more than to see him archive his goals. So for now I will go with the flow but I will refuse to keep someone in this hell hole of a city. I want to see people spread their wings and fly, it is only unfair to ever prevent someone from that. It is wrong to hold people back from what is good for them.
Not everyone I date is meant to be but so far all are people I want in my life. They're all guys I can relate to closely and I can see myself caring for them. If anyone I have dated reads this post and gets insulted or upset, please don't. This is an appreciation post and it is my open diary. You have all left a good impression on me and will never be forgotten. I am proud of who I have dated. I hope they are proud of dating me too! I wish you all the best in life. Don't hold back from finding love, I assure you it exists.
"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better." - Waiting For Godot by Samuel Beckett.
Of course since I have moved on to other guys and I hope to have more dates lined up with the same or different people. I am not at a point to make rash decisions nor should I be holding out from potentially finding love. Currently I have met another guy who I enjoy greatly. Everything is sweet and passionate. There is a sense of innocence but it is strangely mixed with with immaturity and giggles. He has dreams and aspirations that will most likely get in the way. He is destined to travel the world and be famous. There is nothing I want more than to see him archive his goals. So for now I will go with the flow but I will refuse to keep someone in this hell hole of a city. I want to see people spread their wings and fly, it is only unfair to ever prevent someone from that. It is wrong to hold people back from what is good for them.
Not everyone I date is meant to be but so far all are people I want in my life. They're all guys I can relate to closely and I can see myself caring for them. If anyone I have dated reads this post and gets insulted or upset, please don't. This is an appreciation post and it is my open diary. You have all left a good impression on me and will never be forgotten. I am proud of who I have dated. I hope they are proud of dating me too! I wish you all the best in life. Don't hold back from finding love, I assure you it exists.
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