Pray the Gay Away

After over a year of being an out and proud gay men I can't help but to wonder where all the homophobia I prepared myself for is?  I am fortunate enough to be a White Cis Gay male but even then I was expecting a world that is against me.  To my surprise I have found a world that frankly doesn't take notice, a world of people who are to busy with themselves.  I am not saying I have not experienced any form of homophobia.  There have been comments and 'jokes' passed my way regarding my sexuality, all of which had little impact on me.  I suppose it comes down to a persons perspective of the world.  You either think it is with you or against you.  When I came out I made sure I came out into a modern world, one that is very different from the world of hate crimes.  No longer do we live in a world where we had to fight for our existence.  Although this is not exactly accurate, for me in Australia I have it very well off, I am in no way a second class citizen, and throughout time the 'little' injustices will be smoothed out.  I am one of the lucky gays.

In saying all this some of my biggest experiences with homophobia have left me laughing.  I can't help but to ridicule those who're so backwards in thinking that they want a whole community of people to disappear.  Let me just say that regardless of ones political views, it is completely ignorant and unproductive to place 100% emphasis on "the family" while ignoring everyone else.  Yet it saddens me to think most of my homophobic experiences have been within a political party.  To no surprise for many I am a active and proud member of the Liberal Party.  Although I do not fully support some of their policies, their ideology and their focus on the power of the individual appeals greatly to me.  This ideology is evident in my blogs.  I am constantly placing focus on my perspective, I rarely ever blame the world, I never place myself in a collective and I make sure you all know I am me, I am Jack Barlow and I am a gay man but not the gay community or scene.

So what do I consider homophobia?  Well for starters it is not me just getting upset with people who disagree with my lifestyle, they have a right to disagree, perhaps I disagree with theirs and I have that same right.  To me, homophobia is when someone is clearly disgusted and hateful towards you, when they cannot see you for anything more than your sexuality and when they want you to change that for them.  Homophobia is unjust, it is when someone stops caring about the individual and they only care about their collective, be it Christian, Nazi, Islamic or other.  I am not saying all these collectives are homophobic, because they're not.  Extremist minorities who abuse these collectives on the other hand are the problem.  So where did I first experience homophobia?  A policy forum of course.

It started with me walking into a room of men.  I was then handed a sheet of policies that will be addressed and to my surprise they even made sure to include two condemning same sex marriage.  I am not sure what they're so afraid of?  The forum included a sea of harmful words, a fairfax reporters dream and it resulted in a pissed of Jack storming out.  Within 48 hours I had three executive members call me to apologise for words spoken.  I was surprised anyone noticed and I am glad they did, it was the only thing that kept me in that faction.  From there I had another member pass many other comments, although I have a high respect for some of his views, when it comes to gays he is nothing short of a twat.  Whether it be calling them evil or even suggesting he could convert me straight, it is these acts of discrimination that frustrate me.  I have no choice but to laugh it off.  If anyone truly believes you can pray the gay away then I assure you so many people like me would be straight.  So many gay men and women did pray, they prayed every night to be normal and God didn't change them.  Perhaps, if there is a God, he made us this way.  Perhaps we need to move on from thinking God hates our lifestyle, especially when he made it so easy to live.  It was not God who bashed us, spat on us and kicked us down when we were weak.  It was straight men and women.

So I end this blog on a high note.  Homophobia is dying and the world is changing.  When you come out make sure you come out into the right world, because you live in the world you create.  I am lucky enough to be strong willed and stubborn, I will not let anyone get me down and I won't allow others to use my sexuality as a club to beat me with.  I am lucky and proud.  Keep your heads high and block out the haters. It always gets better.