Grindr

Whether you're after "dates, mates, fun" or even "only chats" and a possible "pic swap" it would be folly to expect any gay man has not heard of this app.  Grindr is basically a prolific orgy of gay men, crammed into one space and granted permission to do as they wish.  The result is an addictive display of online human interaction, which often leaves me puzzled on how men think.  The aim of the game for some is to get laid, others to make friends and the rest are undecided. You will find a large group of under age youths desperately trying to make contact with other gays.  You get everyone from the closet to their deathbed.  It is a mixing pot of gays.  It is also dangerous, seedy and requires more attention.  Why?  Because it is shaping a culture and influencing the younger generations negatively.  Grindr is like porn, it creates unrealistic expectations of life.  It promotes racist and even homophobic attitudes (yes, gays hating on gays) while it continues to infiltrate deep into gay culture.

My biggest concern is what Grindr does to those who are new to the gay scene.  It is often their first port-of-call when it comes to exploring their sexuality or even interacting with people like them.  I say this because I was one of those people.  I used the app neither sex or for dates but to find gay friends.  I am not longer that 16 year old boy lying about his age and I am fortunate to be mature and eager enough to learn fast about the gay community, but I would be lying if I said Grindr didn't have a negative impact on my life back then.  It is too easy to mix with the wrong people, I was lucky enough to have a strong moral compass then but some people my age are easily influenced by others.  Quite simply Grindr is not for those under 18 and it should not be peoples first glimpse of the gay community!

We fail to pay attention to anyone outside the 18-30 year old age bracket and because of this we leave our most vulnerable community members open to harm.  There are movements to support gay youths across the globe.  Trevorspace and the Trevorproject  are prime examples of how gays are coming together to support the most vulnerable in our community.  Yet youth are still finding themselves on apps like Grindr.  Are we failing the younger generation?  Are we setting them up to believe being gay means that acting like some of the filth on Grindr is the norm?  We are, and it is because we fail to run successful programs where Gay youth can interact normally.  We need local events targeted at those gay and under 18, we need global sites where the same age group can interact in a safe and friendly environment and we need those who are older to welcome these people into a community of gays who had to fight for their rights and not for their bodies.  And if we have these things already in existence we need to sell them, market them, fund-raise for them and make them work.  Why?  Because a Grindr culture is a xenophobic, unrealistic culture and we must prevent Gay youth from thinking that is what being homosexual is all about, because it plainly isn't.

For those who are old enough to know better and are reading this I beg you to help the new generation of gays.  For those who are young and feel isolated and alone I ask you please do not turn to Grindr but use sites like Trevorspace, turn to community groups or even come to people like me.  We are here to help and we are the better option.  Regardless of your age you must respect everyone, act in their best interests and most importantly have some level of morale.  Be proud.

If you're under 18 here is a site I first went to.
https://www.trevorspace.org/